Tuesday, December 18, 2007

I didn't know I was feeling so badly

I woke up this morning and realized, I feel good. I didn't realize I had started feeling so badly over the past couple of years. I think it snuck up on me and I blamed a lot of it on lack of exercise, stress, bad eating habits and getting older.

But over the past week or so I have noticed, I don't tire as easy walking from my car and up the stairs to my desk. Realized this morning I wasn't even out of breath.

Can it be? 40 days on meds and I feel better than I have felt in a year or years?

My optimism is growing.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Poz.com Forums

When I first found out I was HIV positive I (like most) freaked out.
I didn't want to share my status with friends and certainly not status. Where to turn? Poz.com

Ok, some of the post are scary and some fed my anxiety but after I calmed, accepted my situation, I stopped visiting the site.

When it was time to start the medication, the fears and trepidation returned and I again turned to poz.com's forums.

Here I found a group of people that are truly remarkable and truly care. It is a very tight community that seems to know each other very well. I may have made a mistake by trying to jump in too fast and responding to others post. No one slapped me down but I recognized that even though we the virus from hell, we are very different people. I should have just sat back and allowed the experts to jump in. They are experts! The knowledge about HIV, treatment and side-affects is amazing.

The truly amazing thing about this group (of which I am not a part of but hope someday to be) is their willingness to answer the same questions over and over, allow people to vent, complain, cry, brag, share great news and tragedy. The most important thing is they care. They respond and they help. I can't recommend this group enough.

They are an incredible group of individuals with great heart.

Prime example, one member is currently struggling with insurance, co-pays and access to meds. This group has rallied and people are pitching in their own meds for an individual in need. I read what they are doing and are willing to do to assist and it brings tears to my eyes.
Although I didn't inherit the faith gene and consider myself a hopeful agnostic, there is god in these people.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

One Month In

What a ride!

I am one month and a few days into meds.

In a nutshell, a rough month adjusting to the meds which I suppose is a work still in progress. No major physical side-affects which is awesome but I have been having issues with controlling my temper. I constantly have to be aware that I may be overreacting to a situation but at least I recongnize it.

One minor outburst at the pharmacy when they acted like idiots and actually asked me to loudly announce my meds across the pharmacy floor so the dipwad at the computer could see why my script wasn't filled.

As the blond girl that I mentioned in an earlier post was ringing up the one refill they got right, I started to go off but realized I might be having a side affect moment and was able to calm down a bit. I just stayed pissed for SO long and wanted to go off on someone so badly that it almost become funny.

Anyway, last week, I went for my 30 day bloodwork and spent the next week waiting for results. Are they working? Do have I have a resistant strain? Is my liver going to blow? You know... all the possible bad things the on-line forums talk about.

Then the news.......... FREAKING AWESOME results! Viral load was at over 209,000 c0pies was down to 80!! How cool is that!?! CD4/T-Cells went up from 285 to 413!!

Couldn't be happier and makes all the stomach drama worth it. Other good news (at least for now) is I am down about 15 pounds. Could still lose another 25. (one expensive diet pill)

More to come